THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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