First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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