Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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