Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
