playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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