Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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