I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
