If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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