Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
sex in a hospital.. check
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
