and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
