I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
