Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
