Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
