absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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