they need to just BURY HIM!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize