STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Quick, to the slutcave!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
