Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Umm I'm too high to move.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
