At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
