Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My ATM looks so different sober.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
