I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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