So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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