Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize