Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
