Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
