i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
