her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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