I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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