Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
