i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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