Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize