I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
