...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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