is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
