This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
