Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
