I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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