you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We need a shit load of segways right now
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
