im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
