if only i could text you this smell
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
