So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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