If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
