I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
