well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Houston, we have a blender
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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