I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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