Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
