she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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