Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
