I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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