I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
