Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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