Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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