I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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