I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
