So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
