You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
