You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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