i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
