Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize