2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
