Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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