Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
